European City Parks

1. Men from York sound like Mick Jagger.

2. By law, you have to have a double-barreled name to wear a top hat.

3. The Royal Family are of German origin.

4. All black cabs must have, by law, a dozen sausages in the trunk.

5. Some towns are constructed purely from houses with tin roofs.

6. Scotland did not get regular electricity supply until 1985.

7. Wales has more sheep per square mile than people.

8. All Cockneys are descended from midget Italians.

9. In Yorkshire the only legal profession is mining.

10. The Queen visits every mother at home after they have given birth.

11. French people are not allowed into Lancashire.

12. Prince Philip has a legal right to have sex with any bride the night before she gets married.

13. The pope has a private quarters in Buckingham Palace.

14. London has “gay only” buses which are pink.

15. Australians are not allowed entry to the UK, as they are classed as criminals.

1. When you meet someone from London, don’t ask, “Do you know the Queen?”

2. Shoe box-size hotel rooms let you and the wife rekindle that lovin’ feeling.

3. Not everyone lives in a castle.

4. Think of restaurant service as a leisure experience — if you haven’t gotten the check after two hours, ask for it!

5. Hey, Guys, if you think American women can get their “bitch” on, just wait!

6. England is the country; Britain is the empire (such as it is).

7. Restaurant portions feed people with figures like bean poles, not barrels of beer.

8. Learn to say “Please” and “Thank you” … even if you must speak English.

9. Ladies on the prowl: get out of Leicester Square, explore some London pubs, and cock will come to you!

10. Pretend you’re Canadian.